You can get through a day or you can make a day count. No matter where you are or what you are doing, if you need direction for your day or for your life, ask yourself these powerful questions to unlock the gateway to your path.
Mark was a client of mine who came to see me because he was feeling lost, drained, and beside himself. To get to the heart of what was bothering him, I asked these 3 powerful questions, and it set in motion the beginnings of a self-made map that got him out of his rut and into his element.
I have used these questions in coaching and counseling sessions for a wide range of issues, and they have always provided needed clarity and renewed hope. You can use them for setting the course for your day, week, or for a needed life change.
1. Right now, what do you want more than anything else?
Mark was depressed and anxious the first time he came in to see me. He said he felt like a he was dying a little inside every day in his job. Though he was very good at what he did, he was not happy doing it. Mark spent many sleepless nights exhausted, but unable to fall asleep. His health was suffering, and his state of mind was just short of despair. He shared with me a few incidences in which he lost his patience and scared himself. He was lost and overwhelmed, mostly because he knew there was something else he should be doing.
So I asked him, “What do you want more than anything else?” He answered, “I want to feel like myself again.” He went on to describe how the best version of himself was creative, patient, kind, and driven to make a difference. He remembered in times past that he loved to solve problems, especially technology based problems. He told me that he just has a mind for seeing the big picture, easily pinpointing where the problem is, and fixing it. He was easy with solving people issues, too. He told me that he has always seen things in patterns and dynamics, and he could readily see what needed to be adjusted to achieve maximum value. He reveled in his ability to make a difference, but in his current job he was forced to work more like a machine, and it stripped away the time and energy he needed to access the best of his abilities. He felt like the high pace and faceless environment of his job was slowly killing him. So I asked another question.
2. What would it be like to have what you want and what would that look, feel, and be like?
“To feel at my best, making a difference for the people around me and for the company would be like living heaven for me. I would be the person they’d turn to solve the problems, and they would believe in my ability so much that they would have no doubt. Their faith in me would feed my drive to find the answers for them. I would be the “fixer”. And that is what I really am.” Mark said as if writing a screenplay for himself.
“What would that look like on a daily basis for you?” I asked. “Well, I would get up early in the morning excited about going to work. I would have slept well the night before, taking note of my nighttime dreams for potential insight for solutions. And I would be happy, with focused good energy for my family, and a certain dynamic patience that comes from knowing I am here for a purpose,” he responded. “Nice!” I said and added, “Where is this new job, do you know?”
“I don’t know the name of the company, but it feels like it is an office where we work like a team, aware of one another’s talents and utilizing them well for the goals of each project. It seems like people come to us to solve their problems, companies and individuals. It’s like we are known collectively as the fixers. And the company deals with both technology issues and organizational issues,” he said without even blinking. It gave him energy just thinking about the possibility. I asked one more question to help him clarify his path.
3. What is standing in your way and how can you get there?
“The biggest thing standing in my way is that, though I can describe the company to you as if I’ve been there, but I don’t know what it is or where it is. It is just a dream to me right now,” he said with a dip in his voice. So, I asked him if he had ever seen any company like this before. He remembered seeing a company showcased on a news show once that resembled the one he described. He couldn’t come up with the name of that company, but he knew with a little research he could figure it out. So, the first of his tasks for that day was to research to find that company and others like it.
“What else is standing between you and what you really want?” I asked. “Well, my current job takes the life out of me, and I am worried I won’t have the energy to get myself to where I really want to be.” I told him that sometimes when you are stuck, but you have a vision for where you want to go, a certain kind of energy wells up and helps you to power forward. He nodded and told me that just taking the time to imagine it had already given him hope and something to reach for. So his second task for the day was to write down what he imagined with as much detail as he could muster, and read it over several time, adding more along the way.
Fast forward, Mark found the company and contacted them to see if he could speak to a few members of the team. After about six months of keeping in touch with them on regular basis, a job opened up and they called him directly to see if he was interested. He interviewed with the team, most of whom he already had met. In the second interview, they presented Mark with a complex problem and asked him to walk them through his process to the solution. They witnessed his innate ability to see the patterns and to quickly isolate the problem. He asked them a series of clarifying questions to see what their goals were, and then he proceeded to solve the problem like a jigsaw puzzle. They hired him on the spot.
Though Mark’s use of these powerful questions led to a more suitable job that used his best talents, he uses these same questions with his customers to help them to clarify what they want.
He also uses them on a daily basis to stay in touch with what really matters to him. He lives an intentional life and feels better for it.
Ask yourself these 3 powerful questions at the start of each day and take a few minutes to write down your thoughts. Your answers will pave the road for your day, week, month, or even your life.