Everything in our lives revolves around our relationships. This begins with your relationship with yourself and expands to the relationships you have with your family, friends, professional connections, and even with inanimate objects such as food or money. Of course, we all strive for healthy relationships, but the reality is that we are surrounded by a blend of interactions with a wide-array of individuals. What many people don’t realize is that we are in control of each of our relationships. We have the ability to set boundaries that foster fulfilling interactions and cultivate positive development.
The concept of tending fences is just as much about connection as it is about protection. Perhaps no relationship is, or at least very few are, naturally balanced and equally fulfilling at all times. When people say, “relationships take work,” they are correct. Taking the time to identify the necessary boundaries and visualize the proper fence is an example of that work. It gives you the power to decide how to live your life. It allows you to answer the question: how do you want to share yourself with the world?
Uncovering Deeper Connections By Setting Boundaries
Connecting your soul with the soul of others can inspire incredible joy. In a world where many feel as though they are floating alone, positive human connection is often an underlying motivating factor for the way we act and think.
Visualizing relationship fences is not the same as building proverbial walls that disconnect you. Rather, well-developed boundaries provide a guide that leads the relationship in a direction of constructive growth.
Imagine your life as an expansive parcel of land. Perhaps your land has many neighbors, or just a few. Either way, these are the relationships that affect your life. If there are no fences, your neighbor may just stop by, catching you as you are stepping out of the shower or in the middle of a captivating chapter of a book. While you care for that neighbor, he has interrupted you and you may have an annoyed tone with him as you invite him inside.
Now imagine that you and your neighbor met at the fence instead – both leaning against the posts of your own property to share ideas, thoughts, and experiences. Meeting in the middle, along the boundary of your property and his, gives you the opportunity for a more fulfilling interaction, since neither of you feel interrupted or disturbed.
By tending your fences – identifying your own boundaries and learning about the boundaries of your friends, family members, and other connections – you create the opportunity for more meaningful interactions by removing the backdrop of negativity that may accompany a breach of your fence.