It matters how we treat ourselves and how we treat one another. Kindness and respect above all other approaches, above anger, above insistence, above entitlement or power, and above manipulation of any kind, gets things done and opens
the door to decency and the best of humanity. It’s simple…Let kindness always be our go-to approach, and respect be our first inclination.
Always Lead with Kindness and Respect
To be quite honest, I sometimes assume that my best interests are not the concern of people in the position of power, or in service. I often find myself taking a deep breath and holding it as I step up to ask for help at a service desk. I go into it as if I’ll have to fight for what I want or need in order to avoid being taken by some sort of unfair practice or scam. I go in on the defensive because I have been burned before. Though this may make emotional sense for sure, it doesn’t make logical sense to do this. When I take a moment to calm myself down and find kindness and respect in my heart, both for myself and for the other person, it always goes so much better than even my best case scenario. People respond to kindness, maybe not at first because, like me, they’ve been burned or tricked. That’s where respect comes in, it leaves space for them to respond and gives them time to do the right thing without coercion or upset.
Good Will Come Back to You
My son works in a service oriented industry and has to face irate people several times a day. His first approach is always respect and willingness to listen. If they yell and scream, he finds ways to calm them or make them laugh. If they are angry about something that is unrelated to what he can help them with, and they choose to take it out out on him or one of his employees, he will opt to refer them to another company. But if they calm down, allow him to help them, and extend kindness and respect back to him, he will give them the moon and more.
Treat Them Like Gold
As we begin this holiday shopping season, it is good to remember to treat store clerks and people in the service industry like gold. They are often overworked and pummeled by too many requests at once. When we honor what their experience might be and give them gracious respect, it will lift them up and they will be happy to help us get what we want, and more.
Let kindness be our guide.
Terry Barnett-Martin, LMFT, Licensed Relationship Therapist, Life Purpose and Leadership Coach, award winning author; (949)709-2445 Email: truepurposecoach@cox.net Websites: www.tendingfences.com www.truepurposecounseling.com