Very soon man
y of us will be getting together with family and friends to celebrate the holidays. In the Hallmark Movie version, everything will be perfectly warm and cuddly, loving and predictably happy, but in real life there are many variations to the theme of holidays. Some families have issues. Oh, let’s face it all families have issues. That is just human and it certainly keeps things interesting. The key is to bring out the best of what you have.
I like what Malcolm Forbes says, “Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” If we focus on what is right about ourselves and our circumstances, we might be amazed about what good we find that we missed while always looking for what could go wrong. This is particularly helpful during the holidays, but serves us well throughout the year. So how do we do this?
First, we need to get out of our own way. Many people, myself included at times, go into the holidays with unconscious expectations that set themselves and others up for failure and disappointment. Expectations are poison to the pursuit of peace and love. They blind us to what is already good and right, and put undue stress on those around us.
We can always have our own personal goals, but it is never our job or our right to create goals for others, otherwise know as expectations. We can offer insight, ideas, encouragement and tools, but if we hop over the fence and start imposing our ideas on others, everyone loses. So let’s take a moment to become aware of any expectations we might have, sort our personal goals out of the mix and put them in a safe place, and then dump the rest. It is amazingly freeing to let people be who they are and do what they do without imposing our expectations. And if we, instead, infuse an intention of love and acceptance into our holidays, a certain peace will abide.
Second, on the same theme…steer clear of people who are trying to impose expectations on you, who might mean you harm, or who regularly steal your energy. You never have to put yourself in a situation in which you feel drained, small or insignificant
Third, we need to remember to say “No” to things we really don’t want to do; and a hearty “Yes” to people and gatherings that bring us joy. We lose so much energy saying yes when we really mean to say no, and it has a domino effect on our health and wellbeing. Check in with yourself and do what feels best to you.
Fourth, once you have built your proper fences that both protect you from unwelcome intrusions, and connect you to the people in your life, take a moment to look around and see what you might be able to do to bring light and love to someone in need of a boost. I have witnessed people who have next to nothing, dig down deep and show kindness and generosity to someone worse off. We all have it in us, it is in our human nature to be compassionate and do what we can do. Let your heart breathe kindness and compassion. Even if all you do on a given day is silently bless every one who crosses your path, it will make a difference.