Relationships, like many things in life, are incredibly unique. The nuances that accompany two individuals becoming involved with each other’s lives make it so each interaction is different from the next. Therefore, there is no scientific equation for establishing the perfect boundaries.
Fences are built to suit each specific relationship. After all, if you were to build a fence around your actual property, the circumstances would dictate the type of fence you would build. For example, an ornamental fence built to simply mark the boundaries of your property would look very different from one that was intended to keep pesky animals out of your garden.
Understanding Your Relationships
Learning to understand your own relationships is essential for creating appropriate boundaries. Think about the major relationships in your life. How do those relationships make you feel about yourself and the world around you? Which interactions leave you feeling strong and ready to tackle the world? Do others drain your energy reserves and leave you feeling exhausted? By evaluating each relationship in your life, you can begin to acquire the proper materials to build adequate fences.
Visualizing Your Fences
Begin with the most uplifting relationship you have in your life. Ask yourself whether this person is likely to overstep boundaries if left to wander through your relationship. Also ask yourself whether you would be likely to overstep into their lives. In many relationships that are naturally healthy and uplifting, the fences we build may simply act as a reminder of where your property ends and another begins. Perhaps this fence is made of pretty, thin wood that rises to just below the knee, or perhaps it is a decorative garden border. How do you visualize this fence?
Now think about a more challenging relationship in your life. How often does this person leap over your boundaries? When this person breaches your fence, how does it impact your life? In relationships that require monitoring and work to keep it from having a negative effect, we build fences to act as our protection. Perhaps this relationship requires a fence made of something more structurally sound, such as concrete, and maybe the structure stands taller than your other fences, so that nothing can be thrown over into your world. How do you visualize this fence?
Meeting At The Property Line
Whether your relationship calls for a small marker to act as a reminder, a tall wire fence that you can easily chat through without offering the ability to wander, or a concrete and barbed wire fence to barricade yourself, each relationship fence is built to suit. Have fun thinking about the fence you need to build for each person in your life and allow those visualizations to guide you through your interactions.